the audition that sparked a fire
by believeindreams-believeinyou
Summary: Jade breaks down and who is there to build her up? / Expanding on Jade's audition in Helen Back Again and compensating for the lack of Bade. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious. Believe me, I'm working on it.

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><p>Jade stared at the screen while the clip was playing, trying desperately not to remember the moment in her life that had inspired it.<p>

"Let me out!" a voice whispered on the screen.

She almost winced.

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><p>"<em>Let me out, Mom! Please!" the little girl cried, banging on the door with her palms. "Please!"<em>

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><p>She shook her head and watched the clip as it kept going, now showing a little boy on a rocking horse.<p>

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><p>"<em>Why are you doing this?" the little girl asked furiously, pulling her arms closer to her own body. "What did I do?"<em>

"_Because you're bad." the voice came from the other side almost sounded like her mother's, but with a hint of malice Jade had never encountered before._

"_What did I do?"_

"_You're bad." she repeated. _

_Jade kicked at the door. _

"_Let me out!" she cried, shivering. _

"_Never!" the voice from the other side answered, but it definitely wasn't her mother's anymore - it was scratchy, deep, and a little more than just scary._

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><p>The video played on, and Jade started shivering slightly. She could picture the moment in her head, but fought to keep it at bay. This would not ruin her chances of living her dreams.<p>

When she got out of the audition, she walked faster than anyone had ever seen her walk to get to the one place she could relive the memory safely - the Janitor's closet, her one hiding place.

Just as she locked the door, the memories took over.

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><p><em>She was being pushed. Pulled. Shoved in a small dark room that the heater didn't reach. <em>

_It was a winter night, she was wearing nothing but her nightdress and she had been asleep, but before she knew it she was shoved against the cold tiles. _

"_Let me out, Mom! Please!" she cried, banging on the door with her palms. "Please!"_

"_You'll stay in there until you've learnt your lesson!"_

"_Why are you doing this?" she asked furiously, pulling her arms closer to her own body, trying to retain some heat._

"_Because you're bad." the voice came from the other side almost sounded like her mother's, but with a hint of malice Jade had never encountered before._

"_What did I do?"_

"_You're bad." she repeated. _

_She kicked at the door, certainly breaking her own toe in the process._

_Realization hit and she cried out, before perching on the edge of the bathtub, nursing the throbbing toe. _

"_Let me out!" she cried, shivering. _

"_Never!" the voice from the other side answered, but it definitely wasn't her mother's anymore - it was scratchy, deep, and a little more than just scary._

_A few more minutes like this, banging and screaming, and she gave up. _

_She climbed into the bathtub, which was still a little wet from her bath only an hour before, and started to cry. _

_She didn't understand why this was happening. _

_Her mother said she was bad - what had she done? She couldn't remember breaking anything or saying any bad words. _

_What else was there to have done?_

_She felt like the walls were closing in on her - everything was too dark, too close. _

_She couldn't breathe. Her chest was constricting and oxygen escaped her. _

_Somewhere in her mind, she knew it was her asthma playing up. Her father's words echoed in her mind - "Jadey, if you ever feel like you can't breathe again, just sing a song."_

_Only one song came to her mind - Pop! Goes the Weasel. _

"_All around the mulberry bush, _

_The monkey chased the weasel;_

_The monkey thought 'twas all in fun, _

_Pop! Goes the weasel._

_Jimmy's got the whooping cough_

_And Timmy's got the measles_

_That's the way the story goes_

_Pop! Goes the weasel."_

_By the time she'd finished, her tears had stopped and the door to the bathroom had opened. _

_Her mother walked in, innocent expression painted on her face. _

"_I'm so sorry, baby." She said in a motherly tone.  
>Jade wasn't falling for any of that. <em>

"_Get away from me!" she yelled, getting out of the bathtub on her own. _

"_But I love you-_

"_I hate you!" Jade screamed, and took off down the hall, back to her own room. _

"_I love you!" her mother called distantly. _

"_I hate you!" she screamed back, slamming the door and hiding under the covers until late the next day._

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><p>It kept playing over and over in her head. It was a ghost; no-one else could see it, but it was always there, suffocating her at every turn.<p>

She clutched at her throat, a vain attempt at getting it to stop constricting. Tears welled up in her eyes and violently threatened to spill over.

She couldn't move - couldn't call for help - couldn't breathe.

Things were going black when the door of the little janitor's closet opened long enough for someone to slip inside before it shut again.

She heard it. She heard everything. The words no-one wanted her to hear.

"Jade?" _Why are you doing this?_

"Are you okay?" _This is pathetic._

"I'm here. Okay? I'm here." _I'd rather be somewhere else. _

Warm hands coaxed her cold ones away from her throat by gently uncurling each finger. Her cheek was caressed, then her hands. The warm person kissed her forehead, her nose, her eyelids, her cheeks… trying to bring her back.

He was trying to bring her back.

She fought for him - every day was a struggle with herself, but he could bring her out of it. She couldn't curl up inside herself while he was around - it was like he set a fire inside that part of her mind and she was miraculously afraid of getting burnt.

His gentle kisses and caresses served their purpose - the tears dried, the darkness lifted, and soon she could feel her throat opening back up.

She couldn't do anything but lean into his embrace when she could feel it, but he understood that it meant she was going to be okay again.

"I told you to sing." He reminded her, settling for rubbing her arm now that her face was hidden in his neck, "I knew this play thing was a bad idea."

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Every good writer uses what they know as inspiration, Jade. You did nothing wrong. You just have to remember that's exactly what it is now - inspiration. Just a memory. She can't hurt you, the memories can't hurt you. Nothing can hurt you now, I promise."

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><p><strong><em>AN- how creepy is the song "Pop! Goes the Weasel"? SUPER CREEPY. Seriously, google that chiz. _**

**_So yeah, this was obviously inspired by _Helen Back Again_ (and its play on words that I love - hell and back again. CUH-LASSIC.) and Jade's audition thing. I figured that it had to have some kind of significance to it (I mean, c'mon, even Jade isn't that messed up) so this happened. _**

**_Reviews are like unicorns. And everyone likes unicorns._**


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